Last week we brought a book review on Marilyn Lancelot’s Gripped by Gambling, written by Program Specialist, Jodie Nealley. This week we are delighted to bring you a blog written by, none other than Marilyn Lancelot, herself. Thank you, Marilyn, for sharing a piece of yourself with us.
Why couldn’t I leave the casino when my friends
wanted to? Why did I have to lose all my money, my home, and my freedom? Researchers
are still trying to understand addiction, but may never find all the answers.
Reasons why certain people fall into unhealthy behaviors and others do not may
depend on social environment, learned behavior from family members, genetics,
or emotional issues.
Many compulsive gamblers seek treatment to try
to uncover the reason they gamble. I walked into my first meeting looking for a
way to stop the insanity, not to find out the reason I couldn’t stop. My
sponsor told me to utilize not analyze. He also told me that if I
looked for the reason I gambled, I might believe that if I took care of the
problem, I could one day gamble normally. He warned me about replacing one
addiction with another.
Anyone who has ever tried to break a small
habit can appreciate the seriousness and agony of trying to fight the cravings
of an addiction. Suggesting to just stop
clearly will not work. Cliché as it may be, the desire to change still has to
come from within. I have found the twelve-step programs most helpful because of
the support and spirituality I experience at meetings. I am no longer alone.
Categories determining whether a person may be
predisposed to becoming addicted can be physical, mental, emotional, and
social. A licensed counselor can run testing and diagnosis. Perhaps if someone
had told me that my addictions were a symptom of an illness or predisposed
condition, I might have been more conscious of the fact that I could be in
danger of switching addictions.
There are four levels of how the addiction
pattern progresses:
1. We treat our new
activity as recreational.
2. The need for escape
becomes more frequent, and we become preoccupied.
3. The recreational
activity has a negative impact on our lives.
4. It becomes an
obsession, and the person is desperate to fulfill his obsessive thoughts.
Addicts cannot stop thinking about their newfound
escape from reality, whether the issue they’re trying to avoid is imaginary or
real. Because of the many stages of addictive behaviors, some addicts destroy
everything and everyone around them before they seek recovery. Others,
thankfully, find the desire to stop before they reach that low point. The
desire and ability to recover may take root slowly or emerge full-blown in an
instant.
Addictions include both the obsessive and
compulsive behaviors. With an obsession, we have a fixed mental picture that reminds
us of the feelings we experienced when we were into our addiction. We savor the
escape it offered. Compulsion is physical, and occurs after we have that first
fix, take that first drink, or drop that first coin in the slot machine. We
discover we cannot stop through our own willpower. To break out of the
compulsive behavior, we have to change our thoughts and convince ourselves that
we are doing the right thing by stopping the behavior. We can no longer say
that we deserve it, or no one will know. When we moved from experimenting to
losing control, we often created additional problems such as failed
relationships, financial problems, health problems, unhappiness, and crime. The
list goes on.
Marilyn
Lancelot
More about the
author:
You
can read more about Marilyn Lancelot, and her books at the following websites:
grippedbygambling.com; switchingaddictions.com
After
her experiences, Lancelot started a women’s GA group in her home state of
Arizona. Her group also started a newsletter, which can be found online, Women Helping Women. This newsletter
included the articles from the book, and the website offers interactive
commenting on newsletter articles.
****If you're interested in writing a guest blog for the Mass. Council, please contact Communications Specialist, Sasha C. Russell: sasha@masscompulsivegambling.org
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